Thursday, December 18, 2008

magnetic poetry round two


The last time we worked with magnetic poetry I really enjoyed it so I thought that I would give it another go.

Prisoner
let the steel rot away
your words too slow
yet form like liquid poetry
your lips create a sacred pool
so warm are your words
keep sailing on into the night
rob me of sanity
my breath is gone
you took my breath away


~
three makes two
when you take the one away
don't try to make sense of it
it's not something you can
control
lose control
let two become one
don't worry
i'll be here
like i've always been
holding your hand
just being there
now it's your turn
come find me





Wednesday, December 17, 2008

finding happiness. ha, i think that's the name of a motivational book...great.

In my A-Z blog I think I spoke of a lot of changes that I would like to make. Every week or so it seems that I find something that I would like to improve about myself. I think the most useful goal to focus on would be happiness, which would involve destressing when need be. I have always pictured my senior year being nothing less than great. I saw it as a time full of fun and adventure, so far however it has almost been the opposite and I've somehow sunk into a depression, possibly because of that. When I came to this realization I attempted to start eating more fruits and vegetables as well as drink more water... That nutrition has got to help something right? I'm even dancing and doing yoga, I've read that that helps depression too. But I've been getting less sleep these last few weeks and haven't been eating much (for a person that has been called skinny on numerous occasions I can eat a lot and so not eating as much kind of worries me). In my life I've gone through phases of apathy and lack of motivation, but they usually don't last long, a week, if that. I just feel like this year I've been in a perpetual state of unhappiness and I want it to just stop. I want to stop complaining about it, I'm sure it gets annoying. I attempted to focus on what I'm grateful for, but my mind always goes back to what I lack and wish I had. I've tried doing things solely for myself, thinking if I did something "selfish" it wouldn't really hurt anyone and I would feel better, but that didn't work. I then tried doing many favors for others, hoping that by doing something nice for them I would feel good about myself. Happiness for all of this was short lived. I don't understand what's going on, maybe I just need someone to talk to, but I feel like I would just be saying the same things over and over. I know that I can't force myself to feel an emotion, but I can look for ways to understand what I'm going through and fix them, thus creating happiness.

Monday, December 15, 2008

A-Z, my 2008

A- Awesomeeee. This was the catchphrase of my friend Ryann from MCAD. She had a way of drawing out the word in a silly way. Needless to say it began uses it the same way quite frequently.
B- Blogging. This is a recent thing that I've taken up via the class "Blogging with Becky" it's something that I hope to continue because surprisingly I enjoy it.
C- Caitie. My best friend, I guess you could say, and pretty much the only person I hang out with outside of school anymore.
D- Dad. My dad and I have a lot in common, he's very near and dear to my heart.
E- Eventful. What I wish my life was, sadly I'm bored the majority of the time. I write this as a reminder that if I want things to happen I can't just wait around for them to me, sometimes I have to go to them... so if I want to be doing a lot of activities and going to a lot of events I have make the effort to do so.
F- Fake. Something I don't like about myself. I feel like I gossip about people and am nice to them the next and I still don't feel completely comfortable in my own skin and so I feel like I have to act like the people around me, and being like them makes me fake because I'm not saying what I really think or how I really feel.
G- Google. It's a very helpful website for all the little things that I'm curious about. It's also pretty useful for research papers : ).
H-Hairstyles. Lately I've been thinking about lots of ways that I can change my hair. Don't get me wrong, I really like my natural color and have always felt that a medium length is the best look for me, but I sort of want to experiement with it while I'm still young. I want to try auburn and then blond with pink underneath, crazy I know.
I- Independent. Now that I'm 18 I feel like I should be more responsible and not blame others for my own mistakes. I've been trying to be independent more and more so when I'm on my own making important decisions won't be as difficult.
J- Guy's whose name starts with J. I usually find myself crushing on a guy whose names starts with this letter, and I'm pretty boy crazy (believe it or not) so it's usually more than one guy at a time. I just think it's a funny coincidence.
K- Kare 11, a news channel that I find myself watching to know what's up locally and nationally.
L- Love. Fascinating, confusing, wonderful, are words that I would use to describe it. Patience, understanding and time are what I feel it requires. I'm in love with the idea of love, I've been searching for it for awhile now.
M- Music. I wake up to it, it's gets me going, pumps me up. It's an emotional release, I blast it when I'm pissed off. It adds to any experience, sound makes movies more interesting, (in my opinion) and motivates people to dance. I'm also a pretty musical person who likes to sing and play a few instruments.
N- Neglect. This year I have been extremely anti-social. I never hang out with my old friends, I never call them or if by chance they call me return their calls, so in essence by neglecting my so called friends I've become a loner. Fun stuff.
O- Open. I strive to be open-minded about things that are new or unusual to me. I'm also trying to be open by telling people how I feel (as cheesy as that may sound) because I always feel afraid to share these things.
P- Photography. I have a habit of losing my camera, and find it when I clean my room. Sadly the last time that I cleaned my room I didn't find it. Wish me luck.
Q- Quiet time. I need a lot of just that to clear my thoughts. When I don't have time to just sit and think and sit by myself I go crazy.
R- Reality. I've drifted from it at many points this year, fantasy just seems so much better, but I know that I can't live my life in a dream world and some day I will have to face the real world, hardships, mistakes and all.
S- Sarcasm. I am so sarcastic so often that sometimes I don't even realize that I've made a sarcastic remark. I should probably work on that.
T- Television. I was once a coach potato, but was able to ween myself away from it eventually. I stopped watching TV cold turkey for nearly a year (because once I turn it on I can't bring myself to turn it on) but this year I've started to sink back into my old habits. I watch TV because I'm stressed and when I get stressed I stop doing anything at all, I freeze up not knowing how to handle the situation.
U- Universities, or rather colleges. (so I guess I'm cheating on this one) Applying to such places and thinking about my future, it's pretty intimidating.
V- Videos. My weekends almost always consist of watching at least one movie. I'm currently taking video production so I'm making videos too. I'm learning just how much work it takes to make a video. It took me at least 3 hours editing pieces of video for an end product that wasn't more than 2 minutes.
W- Winter. My least favorite season because of the cold, but I've learned to adapt to it. I'll have to seeing that next year I might be living in Canada. And if I layer up it's actually not that bad.
X- Xerox copies. My mom tends to make a copy of anything she deems important, which includes a lot of my old poetry and artwork. I guess I should be proud that she wants to do that, but I sort of feel embarrassed, I also see it as sort of a waste of paper.
Y- Youtube. I've recently been able to immerse myself in videos galore, until this point I hadn't been able to watch videos on youtube due to the uber slowness of my computer, I really can't stress how slow it is. I'll just say one word: dial-up. BUT on weekends I am lucky enough to watch as many videos as I want on my dads new and improved HIGH SPEED!!!
Z- Zzz =sleep, or my lack of it. If I don't get at least 10 hours of sleep I feel like a zombie the next day. The last couple of weeks I've found myself starring at my alarm clock at 12:30 a.m and cursing my brain for not being able to turn off.

Monday, December 8, 2008

drunk again

Topic ideas:
.greek myth modernized
.small town happenings
.A DRUNKEN NIGHT
.a journey in a foreign land

Rodney and Alison walk hand in hand down the same road that they always wander past, the familiarity of the routine is comforting, but at they same time both are starting to get bored and not just with the road, but with each other. They are both staring off into space, in two different worlds thinking completely different thoughts. Alison is thinking of how much she misses summer, how carefree it is, unlike now with the pressure of finals. She feels like one bad decision could leave her in shambles. She can't afford to make any mistakes. She has pushed herself so hard to be a doctor, it's been her one and only goal all of her life it seems, but the future seems so uncertain to her now because she's not getting answers. She had never been in a truly serious relationship before because she knew what a distraction it would be. It wasn't planned, but somewhere along the line she fell in love with Rodney. She fell in love with his silly half grin, and the way he got before telling her about his half-baked, wacky ideas. She knew she was a goner when she couldn't stop thinking about the next time she could kiss him, when it consumed her thoughts so much that she didn't hear the professors lectures anymore and they started to ask her in a concerned manner if everything was okay. This went on for some time, years even, and she went from being the top of her class to averaging C's. She sort of resented Rodney for that because she knew she could never go back, and now he was drifting away. None of her plans seemed to be going her way anymore. Now she feels like she needs to pressure Rodney into telling her where he sees the relationship going. She wants to get married, but does he? Is he as committed to the relationship as she is? She's given up everything to make it work between them and is starting to wonder how much he can really give her. While Rodney contimplates feelings of indiciveness, feeling lost, and like he doesn't belong here. He feels like he's doing what everyone else wants him to do and because of that he doesn't know what he wants anymore. But none of that matters as the snow gently falls on their hats and coats. The snow makes them smile because it brings them back to freshman year of college. Rodney glances down at Alison and she looks up at him, he towers over her by at least two feet, and at that moment they know they are thinking the same thought. That's the good thing about being with someone for such a long time, you can hear what the other person is saying without them saying a word. They begin enjoying themselves until they hear the muffled sound of Rodney's phone ringing. He doesn't intend to answer it, he already knows who it's going to be. "Come on, just answer it." Alison urges. Resistance is futile he realizes, Alison is too stubborn, he never wins with her, and so though annoyed, he answers. "Hey man, what's up?" It's who he thought it was, Eliot, his best friend from high school. Eliot calls every weekend to ask the same thing if Rodney wants to party. Eliot doesn't seem to get that Rodney has moved on, Eliot wants to re-live high school and hasn't really matured since then. Eliot is slow to respond. "Dudeee, major party tonight, are you coming or are you gonna be a pussy like always?" It's offical, Eliot is baked like a cake. That's no surprise. What is a surprise is that he hasn't been kicked out school yet, somehow he still hasn't fried his brains and manages to get a B average. "Maybe dude, I'll see what I can do." is Rodney's typical response which he uses yet again. This time he's really considering going because he doesn't want to have a typical Friday night, he wants to forget his problems for a night. Eliot seems sobered up a bit as he says "Alright man, just don't forget to ask permission from your mom, you might get grounded." he says refering to Alison who he has never liked. The first time they met he could sense that she was judging him which he hated and so he was rude to her to "teach her a lesson". Which cases Rodney to lash back in anger, "You know what? Maybe I will come!" You can hear Eliot's approval as he says "Good. I think it would be good for you. You're so serious all the time. Me casa, be there at ocho, I want to talk to you." At this point Rodney hangs up on Eliot. Alison rolls her eyes, "Let me guess, that was Eliot and he wants to partayyy?" "Yeah and I think I'm going to go." Rodney says still angry. "You can't be serious." Alison says in shock. "Why not? You don't approve? I'm a big boy." Rodney vents. "Well you're certainly not acting like it. I'm going home. Call me when you're done having a tantrum." Alison says before she starts to walk away. At this point Rodney would usually chase after her appologizing, but he is too heated. He needs to let off a little steam. He punches a brick wall which causes his knuckles to bleed. Alison looks back in anticipation of seeing Rodney, but he's no where to be found. Her feelings are hurt, but she has to much pride to admit it, she walks even faster back to her apartment. When she gets back she tells her roommate and best friend Amanda everything. Amanda nodds her head simpathetically at all the right points while secretly thinking that Rodney isn't good enough for Alison. "Come on honey, let's get you all dolled up, we're going to have a girls night!" Amanda says with as much enthusiam as she can muster. Alison is reluctant. "I don't know. I don't really feel up for a night on the town. What if he calls? I want to be here." "You can't keep waiting around for him. You deserve a little fun." "Oh alright, I suppose one night of fun won't hurt." Rodney decided roaming around campus would be the best thing to do at the time being. The cold didn't bother him, his anger was like his own personal heater. After a while he was able to stop thinking and just observe his surroundings. The snow covered rooftops, the kids making snowmen and building snowforts, the frost on the store windows. He loves this time of year because the cool air always keeps him awake and full of energy. The walk almost lifts his spirits, but then he sees the liquor store and realizes that it's almost time to go to the party. Rodney casually drops into the store to pick up some cheap vodka, he's sure that it will be needed. Rodney recognizes the store clerk and laughs to himself because this is the same guy he used to show his fake id to in high school, they were acquanances until he quit the party scene. Ted squints at Rodney for a few moments trying to gather where he knows him from and then it hits him. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Rodney, my boy, how have ya been holding up?" "Just fine sir, and yourself?" he says as he fishes for his id. As he's about to place the id on the counter Ted lets out a hardy chuckle. "You've been 21 for how many years? Do you really think that I need to see your id?" Rodney laughs back. "I guess not. So how could you tell that I wasn't 21 back then. I thought I was pretty convincing." "Oh you were I recall, it was that Eliot character you were always hanging around that gave you away. If you were to come in by yourself I never would have guessed, you sure looked 21. I mean you were tall enough and had a goatee. I'm sure it helped with the ladies too." "Haha, I guess so. Listen man, it was good catching up with you, but I should get going." "I suppose so, you party animal you. Have fun!" "Just not too much" Ted adds as Rodney walks out the door. "Oh I will. You have no idea." Rodney mutters to himself in a somewhat dark manner.

On his walk to Eliot's, Rodney makes the executive decision to get the party started early, he opens one of the bottles of smirnoff. Rodney grimaces at his first few chugs of the vodka, he's never liked the taste as much as beer or rum, but right now the taste doesn't really matter to him. With half a bottle gone Rodney isn't even tipsy, it appears his reputation for being able to hold his liquor proceeds him. Rodney pauses at Eliot's door step, does he really want to do this? "What have I got to lose?" he figures, as he's about to knock on the door Eliot opens it, he must have seen Rodney standing out there. "Come here" Eliot slurs before giving Rodney a bear hug. "It's good to see you! What have you been doing with yourself lately? Actually forget that I asked, I already know, but it is good to see you." Rodney knew it was a good idea to start drinking before he came here, same old Eliot, just with more facial hair. Rodney judges the best thing to do at this point would be to crack a joke and so the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "I would saw the same thing, but I can't even see you under all that beard." Eliot roars with laughter even though the joke wasn't very good. Rodney shrugs, "I guess things just seem funnier when you're drunk." he thinks to himself. After his laughter ceases in a way that is more matter of fact than cocky he says "I know, isn't it great?" still beaming he motions for Rodney to come in, even though he has already stepped inside. Not sure what to say Rodney just says "Sure. So listen, I got some Smirnoff, I figured it'd be a good mixer. You have pop right?" "No man, actually I'm all out. I'm pretty much tapped out of alcohol too. Would you mind running that errand with me? It'll be like the good ol' days, we can even chat up Ted, he still works at the same place you know. He's a pretty cool guy, for an old geezer I mean." "Yeah, I actually ran into him earlier, but I wouldn't mind seeing him again. And you wish you could be as cool as him when you get that age." Eliot nodds, "I do, I do."

"Haha, that guy is too much." Eliot declares in between chugs of whiskey. Rodney couldn't agree more. Ted had gone home early and his snotty nephew Daniel was left in charge. The whole time Eliot and Rodney were in the store, Daniel stood there eyeballing them as if they were going to steal something. Even as Eliot fished for his wallet Daniel stared at him with obvious disdain. "I almost felt like stealing something just to shove it in his face. We obviously weren't going to, we've been good customers there for years, and it's not like he didn't recognize us." says Rodney started to get worked up. "I know. You should have, it would have been priceless. Then again he would call the cops on you in a blink of an eye." "This is true, but to tell you the truth I don't think I would have cared all that much if I did." "You would care! You know I'm right!" Eliot says obnoxiously. "Okay then. I'm just going to take that bottle from you. Sharing is caring and you've had quite a bit." "It's not too much unless you're passed out. Drink tell you drop I always say." and then he accidentally spills a good amount on his black and red ecko hoodie. "See, you're wasting it." Rodney punches his arm and then grabs the bottle. Eliot swings back, but Rodney ducks. "You can't touch this." retorts Rodney in a cocky manner. "Oh yeah?" replies Eliot with a raised eye brow. "Watch me." and then Eliot plows Rodney into a snow bank. Rodney works his way out of the snow slowly, dusting it off for a good five minutes. "Not cool." At this point Eliot is on the ground in a fit of laugther. In between gasps Eliot says "Ohh that was too funny." he laughs again. "Kind of like this?" responds Rodney before throwing a snowball at his face. Eliot doesn't even care, he shrugs and says "Yeah, kinda like that." With that in a team effort they then pick up the bags filled to the brim with alcohol and head back to Eliot's place. When they get inside they see that people have already arrived. Sidney and Bob are on the sofa and appear to be in the middle of a deep philosophical discussion, when really they're just stoned. A few other people are strewn about the house doing various things. The stereo is blasting some weird techno beats. Rodney forgot that Eliot never locks his door and that he draws in a strange and interesting crowd. Eliot seems to recognize the song as he bounces up and down "Yeah, that's my jam!" "Hey!" everybody in the room shouts in unison, they are just noticing Eliot and Rodney's arrival. "Awesome, the liquor's here. Did you get anything good?" a girl with bleach blond hair showing way to much skin asks as she tries to peek into the bag. "I sure did sexy. Let me just put in down over here and then you can dig in." he motions to the floor next to the fridge. HE makes no attempt to hide his glaze as he stares at her ass when she's bending over. Rodney just smiles and shakes his head at Eliot's behavior. And then he sees her, his ex Sarah. She looks better than ever and she isn't even trying. Her skin has a golden glow, her lips are a natural berry color, and her eyes seem to be twinkling. Rodney never really got over Sarah who was his high school sweetheart. Sarah broke up with Rodney when she found out that she got accepted to UCLA. She said that she didn't want to get in the way of him wanting to be with someone else which might happen because of the distance, he knew that she really meant in case she found someone else. She seemed to look quite happy with that guys arms around her. He looked like a dumb jock. He was even taller than Rodney and was built, Rodney could tell this of course because the guy had on a tight white tee shirt. Rodney couldn't help but judge the guy in ten seconds flat and he hadn't even been introduced to him yet, then again he hadn't spoken to Sarah yet either. Rodney thought it would be best to avoid her as long as possible so he made his way up the stairs.

Alison spend a good two hours getting ready, she tried on all the clothes in her closet, but didn't see anything she wanted to wear. "All of my clothes are so boring. The only cute thing I have is that silver shirt with no back, but Rodney gave it to me, so I don't feel like wearing that right now." Alison looks at Amanda expectantly. Amanda seems to look reluctant before saying "Okay, I give in you can take a look in my closest to see if you can find something." Amanda stutters at the thought of all of her ruined designer clothes that she has let Alison borrow, but she knows that Alison could use some cheering up and so she lets her. Alison looks uplifted when Amanda agrees to let her scrounge through her closet. "Great, I love all of your clothes." "I know you do sweetie." Alison settles on a red dress that laces up in the back. "Now for your hair and make-up, do you want me to do it for you?" Amanda asks even though she already knows that answer. "Sure!" says Alison. Amanda straightens Alison's hair and gives her smokey eyes with tons of mascara. Amanda has mastered this look after countless nights of partying and clubbing. Amanda never leaves the house unless she looks perfect. Right now she has an edgy cut with her hair dyed auburn and she gave herself cat eyes and a little bit of lip gloss. Amanda did Alison's hair and makeup more intricately because she wanted to make her feel like she was getting special treatment, which she was. "All done. I really love the highlights in your hair by the way." "Thanks." Alison beams, "I think I'm ready."

All of the alcohol that Rodney consumed first effected his bladder, he headed to the bathroom, luckily there wasn't much of a line, one person waiting patiently. The kid must have been about 13, Rodney wanted to tell him to go home and go to bed. Rodney waited about ten minutes before pounding on the door. "Open up. I've really got to piss." he pressed his ear against the door and heard a grown and then the sound he was certain was someone throwing up. "Ugg, great, a sick person. Guess who's going to have to clean in up... wait, not me. I'll just make this kid get a mop." Rodney thought he was just thinking it, but he must have said it out loud. The kid shrugged and headed downstairs. Rodney opened the door slowly, inside was another ex of his, Alex. She had once been a beautiful and spunky redhead, but now she looked completely different.

Friday, December 5, 2008

unemployment shock

553, ooo unemployed is a shocking number and an appalling situation. It's unbelievable to see our country, that has always been such a strong one, going through such hardships. The news feed our fear as they question "Is this an economic crisis, how bad will it get?" and economy advisers give vague or troubling responses. They don't even know when our economy will shape up. My mother has been looking for a job for roughly a year (with a few road bumps) which makes me nervous for her when she doesn't have my social security check to help pay the bills. I have a job now that I'm not too fond of, but am reluctant to change jobs because there aren't many available. I'm worried that if I get a new job I will be layed off first because I've held the position the shortest amount of time. And that's just the effect it has on my household. Many of my friends have been in search for a job for quite a while as well. Numerous people like my friend C have to find another job just to pay the rent. I can't imagine what larger families are going through. I wonder what people have to go without in order to survive. It's kind of scary to think, if this isn't rock bottom what will be?

Update on employment news, did anyone hear about the number of health care facilities that had to let people go because patients weren't coming in as often? I find this outrageous.

Me, my blog, and I

Today's task: Evaluate my blog.

When I compose a blog my hope is to come across as smart yet still light hearted. I highly value intelligence, and strive to be knowledgeable and perceptive. I also value the ability to be easy going and have a good sense of humor. For this reason when I say someone is witty I feel it's pretty much the ultimate compliment. I feel that my blog is well composed. I try my best to have good spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I normally just proof read what I'm typing as I go along and don't re-read the entire thing after I've finished. Then later I notice one thing off with the blog and edit it. Sometimes I leave the run-on sentences because that's just the way that I write. This blog entry feels pretty sloppy to me, but I still feel pretty mentally exhausted so I'm slightly apathetic to that fact. I've shared a few things that I feel are personal in my blog because I feel that for people to truly know me they have to know some of my deeper thoughts, secrets, and things that I spend more time thinking about. I think that with everything I write descriptiveness leaks out even if I don't mean for it to. I write what I think and I think in pictures. I'm sure that I have a voice, I don't know what it is exactly. I've posted every blog required so I think that shows my commitment. I don't think I'm what most people expect me to be.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

his blog, her blog, your blog

{The blogger that I looked into today seems to have a very unique personality. She has odd interests that I find endearing and quite fascinating :]. Her blogs reveal a vunerable side, giving me a bit more insight into who she is. I feel closer to her by reading what she has to say (that came out sounding kind of creepy). Her use of language is very her. The style comes across as witty, the spelling+grammar is decent. She has vivid writing, often full of emotion. I think her intended audience is mostly for Becky and peers. Her blogs seem to all have the same style, there's definitely a voice there. I wish she would post more frequently, I like what she has to say!
I think this blogger is formal when she needs to be, but she mostly just writes the way she wants to and that tends to be casual.}

self loathing. sleep it away.

Lately I've been in a major funk. Today I feel really rotten. I just want to fall asleep and wake up to good times and happiness, a time where things seem good again. My perception of life feels really bleak, I feel depressed and don't understand why. It's not like my life is horrible, it's quite good in comparison to others hardships, but I still can't shake the feeling of sadness and some anger. I'm trying really hard to stop feeling like this, but nothing seems to be working. I hate that. What am I doing with my life? I'm already 18 and feel like I've done nothing to truly impact the world. I want to do great things. I want to be famous, but I'm just me. I want life to be an adventure, but my life feels so dull and repetitive. I sometimes feel like a failure. I have major self esteem issues at times, mostly on days like this. I'm constantly losing or forgetting important things, and wonder how I would deal if I actual had a busy life. I'm upset with myself and the way my life is going. I keep saying that I will do things out of character, out of the norm, and not care what people think, but I always play it safe. I think of all the possible downsides to a situation and then I don't go through with it. I don't like risks. Risks that reveal who I am, scars and all, because I feel ugly on the inside and can't let anyone else see that part of me. Afraid to fall, can't handle rejection. I've slowly become more open than I used to be, but I don't feel like it's enough. I can never do anything good enough in my own eyes and it really hurts. I wish I could just let go. I want to scream, but no, I have to say composed. I really want to just say "fuck it" some days and not get out of bed, what's the point? I know I'll regret it later, so I get up grudgingly. I know things get better eventually. Will there ever be a day that I don't have to look to the future for happiness, can't it be now?

magentic poetry

Magnetic Poetry goes here:

(1)
scream, throw,
only see some music,
pop,
metal.
you're too young,
so they say.
observe old rhythm.
question genius.
why suffer his pain?
approach beauty.
free, wild, and real.
surreal soon.
original icon dead.
you feel
raw,
vividly mad.
our life is a mess,
at best.
sing softly.
break this
always rigid demand.
form dream
through my passion.

(2)
represent
which you understand.
alleviate
your valid sound.
never see too soon.
must reach curious.
delve.
solution through mind.
say my opinion scholar.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Surrounding language

The language I'm immersed in seems to be a variety. Most of the people around me speak in some sort of slang and often times use incorrect grammar. I must admit that it bugs me a bit when people use language in the wrong context, but I suppose I shouldn't say anything because I don't have the best spelling or grammar either. I also have friends who you could call grammar freaks who make me feel like I need to spell check everything I send to them. I feel like there's going to be judgement no matter how I speak so I try to speak well. By presenting myself this way I appear more educated, or smart if you will. The same goes for when other people speak well. I respect people more for speaking this way, even in comfortable settings. On the other hand to some people that would seem pretentious. When someone says something like "ain't" you have to wonder if they are choosing to use that word, or if they really don't know that they should have said "is not, are not, or am not." I suppose the key to language is code switching, adapting your dialect to the situation.

Words from yesterday~
cantankerous: bad-tempered
machismo: manliness
lingua : tongue
*I can't really see myself using these on a regular basis, I just thought they were fun words.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving Weekend

Thursday- I'm a vegetarian so Thanksgiving generally isn't a big deal to me (seeing that it revolves around turkey), but I wanted to get in the spirit this year as well as enhance my cooking skills, this year I wanted to prepare a traditional thanksgiving meal. My dad and I had quite a large selection of food for two people to eat. I'll be honest and tell you that I was pretty grossed out by the turkey at first. I became squeamish at the thought of spreading butter and poultry seasoning inside of the skin, but I "sucked it up" and just did it. I didn't mind it as much after the initial disgust when touching it, in that small amount of time I guess I got used to it. Other items on the menu included: antique broccoli, which is mostly broccoli and carrots with melted cheddar cheese sauce, grated parm, and bread crumbs. Celery and onion stuffing, mashed potatoes, and a cranberry pineapple desert. We also made pumpkin pie from scratch and added vanilla ice cream on top of it. All and all a pretty good meal. My least favorite was the antique broccoli, not sure what it was about it because I usually really like broccoli and cheese. My absolute favorite thing was definitely the pie. It was sooo good! We had an early dinner because by the time everything was ready to eat we were starving. After that I spent the rest of the night watching tv shows on the computer.

Friday-Don't remember. That's kind of scary. Sometimes I find that I don't remember entire days and that leads me to the question, what the hell is wrong with me? And I know what you're thinking, it wasn't a blackout, which makes this forgetful business even more of a mystery. I'm pretty sure I went to work though.

Saturday-Lazed around in pj's. Had Thanksgiving round 2 with my mom and my uncle Steve (mostly consisting of leftovers from the Thanksgiving with my dad). My uncle gave me his old Mac :)! I was expecting a computer from the early 90's, but was pleasantly surprised to find a fairly new computer.

Sunday-My day consisted of the eternal process of cleaning my room. The reason I have found for constantly cleaning my room is that each morning I spread out multiple articles of clothing on my bed to decide what to wear, then of course I don't have time to put everything back because in the morning I sleep in as late as possible (giving myself that extra then minutes of sleep, it makes a life changing difference, didn't you know that?). That night I'm too exhausted to put the stuff away and so it gets pushed off onto the floor. This happens all week, hence the clothing pile on my floor. Weekends I usually have a few hours to tidy up and if I'm not too lazy I do so. I also went to work and worked on my blog. As I was about to go to bed early I remembered that I should get on amazon to make some Christmas purchases while the black Friday sales were still on. At this point I was in a state of sleepy confusion and didn't buy anything after all. 10:00-I attempt to fall asleep. 12:30- still awake, shit, I'm going to be tired tomorrow and I have to stay up late because I close at work. Stress.

Now for the rest of the assignment...
cantankerous: bad-tempered
machismo: manliness
lingua : tongue
These were all pretty easy to figure out, but they were new to me.

Part of my everyday vocab:
.definitely
.lame
.awesome
.that sucks
and
.for sure
= Recycled sayings.